Catastrophe Rising

"I'll carry your world"

Category: Just a Thought

There’s No Rest for the Wicked

Tomorrow will be my first day off in over two weeks and I’m super thrilled and so relieved. I think I’m going to use my day off to do a hike that I’ve always wanted to do. It’ll be a nice reprieve from my crazy life.

I could use a little break too because while I’m loving my internship and my job at the restaurant, it’s been hard to go through both without any breaks.

I recently kicked someone out of my life that I saw myself starting something with; but it the end, there was only confusion and anxiety and I kept getting the vibe that it was all one-sided. I’m not going to go into any more details because I want to protect my privacy as well the person I’m referring to.

But I did have some sort of epiphany as I read through my journal entries that I wrote in my freshman year of college. In one of them, I wrote out the following quote after another person left my life unexpectedly.

…people are flawed. They’re going to screw up more than once or twice. They’re going to make the same mistakes 10 or even 20 times before they realize what they’ve been doing wrong and make an effort to change it. And that’s why I’m so forgiving.

I’m not saying I forgive this person for what he did. At least not yet. I may forgive him eventually, just to help myself move on and to give myself peace of mind.

But as I read this quote that 18 year old me wrote, I realized that the person I’m supposed to end up with is probably out making some crazy mistakes. The thing is, whatever he’s doing right now will help him grow into someone that I’ll be happy to be with. And I’ll happily make some mistakes if it helps me become a better person in the long run.

I’m going to leave you with a snippet from a poem I wrote. It kind of reminds me that there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

 

So I drive these roads
Away from our hometown
I’ll no longer look back
There’s nothing but the past

And the things that could never be

 

Month in Review: April

The view from the venue where my fraternity’s banquet was held

I’ll apologize again for being inconsistent with my blogging. But if you’re in college or if you’ve ever been in college, you’ll know that April is absolutely insane for students, and this April was no exception. I’ve nearly grown tired of my Spotify playlist from the countless hours I’ve had it on as background noise while I study.

Even though exam week technically doesn’t start until tomorrow, my exam week is in full swing, having just finished my 2nd exam. The first was for a gen ed class and the second was for an online software testing class. I’m insanely happy to have those two behind and I’ll be even more thrilled when I finish my last exam on Wednesday.

Cross-Country Road Trip

I’ve had this idea for a while now and I’m starting to get more serious about it. Having done some research and looked up some travel times, I’ve decided I’d like to do a road trip to California. It’s been a dream of mine to go there and see the sights and set my feet into the Pacific Ocean, which is the last major U.S. body of water that I want to see (except for maybe the Arctic Ocean in Alaska). After doing the math and some calculations, I found that I could easily reach Southern California in 4 days from my college town and there are plenty of sights and stops a long the way. I don’t have to spend a fortune either, since I could hit up camp sites (I can pitch a tent in about 5 minutes), hostels, or if worse comes to worse, a Wal-Mart parking lot.

I was hoping that I might be able to do it this summer but I don’t think I’ll have the funds for it. So I’ll shoot for either winter break or right after graduation next summer.

But enough of that, here’s my summary of the month.

My highlights from this month were:

  • Getting to go to my fraternity’s banquet 1)Although the general rule is that fraternities are for boys and sororities are for girls, there are a few organizations that are co-ed like the one I’m in.
  • Getting to go home for Easter and see my family

My lows from this month were:

  • The amount of work I’ve had to face at my jobs and at school
  • Getting more rejections from internships

That’s ok, because I accomplished:

  • I did my first technical interview with a company that does programs to help kids learn how to code
  • I got an A on the longest paper I’ve ever written for college
  • I continue to get passing grades on all of my work for school
  • I got elected as the recording secretary of my fraternity for next school year
  • I’ve already done 2 out of my 5 exams

I also…

  • Finished the final arc of Sailor Moon
    • It was good series overall and I’ll definitely be rewatching it
  • Watched Mobile Fighter G Gundam
    • I remember seeing this anime as a kid, which prompted me to go and watch
  • started Gundam Seed
    • Another one I remember seeing from my childhood
  • Started rewatching Wolf’s Rain
    • I watched this when I was 14 but never saw it dubbed
  • Watched the anime movie Your Name
    • This movie messed me up so much that I didn’t know whether I was laughing or crying at the end

Next month, I’m looking forward to:

  • Finishing my junior year and going home
  • Memorial Day weekend
  • My 21st birthday on the 29th 🎉🥂
  • Going on a few small adventures

Next month, I hope to accomplish:

  • Obtaining a job of some sort for the summer
  • Learning more and more knowledge so I can pass the Network+ exam2)I’ve decided I want to obtain a certification before I graduate
  • Starting on a new theme for this site

Finally, a song a from this month:

I’d love to hear how everyone’s month was. Hope you guys have an amazing May!

References   [ + ]

1. Although the general rule is that fraternities are for boys and sororities are for girls, there are a few organizations that are co-ed like the one I’m in.
2. I’ve decided I want to obtain a certification before I graduate

Cassidy Currently: 8th Edition

Hey everyone! Things have been busy for me lately. Luckily, this week I have a bit of a break because of Spring Break. Anyway, here’s what I’ve been up to lately.

Halfway through the Semester

I can hardly believe how fast the Spring Semester has gone. Last week marked week 7 and halfway through a 14 week stretch of classes. So far I’m off to a good start in all of my classes (some better than others) and although it’s been hard working two jobs, I’ve kept my grades on the good side. I did have to tell one of my jobs not schedule me as much because although the extra money is great, it was starting to affect the amount of time I had to get my assignments done. Hopefully I can pick up the effort a bit for the remainder of the semester.

A few minor lifestyle changes

I’ve been making an effort to make a few minor changes to what I eat and how I live my life. When I was at CAPWIC, I found myself going immediately for the sugary, caffeine rich sodas because I needed the energy to keep me going and I was having a hard time finding something I can eat. But after a weekend of putting that stuff in my body, I decided to rethink my decisions a bit.

So I’ve decided to limit my intake of sugary caffeinated drinks, mainly because with every sip, I could feel the enamel waring away from my teeth. Plus there’s all kinds of artificial ingredients and I really don’t want to have any caffeine unless I’m trying to study or something of that nature. So far, I’ve been very successful with this.

Of course, my exception to this is Sprite or Sierra Mist because, well, I love how refreshing lemon-lime soda is and it’s caffeine free.

My second change comes from the amount of time I spend with my electronics. Being an I.T. major, I spend a lot of time on the computer and in the presence of artificial light. So I decided that before I go to bed, I would not spend those last minutes of wakefulness being on my phone but instead reading a book. It helps because I don’t have to deal with the artificial light and I really don’t want my last thing that I see from the day to be my Facebook newsfeed.

Sometimes my books will be poetry, like the works of Tyler Knott Gregson or Lang Leav or Shakespeare. Other times, it’ll be my guidebooks on the Appalachian Trail or even some reading from my textbooks. It’s really helpful for someone who has a hard time falling asleep.

I haven’t been as diligent on this lately but I will pick it back up as I go to bed tonight.

Reconnecting with Old Friends

My friends have inspired me to try and take initiative when it comes to meeting new people or talking with them.

For awhile, I’ve been thinking about an old friend that I first met in middle school. In fact it was someone who initially hurt my feelings back then. We became friends and he admitted to his faults when we were juniors in high school and we kept in touch for awhile after I moved away. Then we drifted apart. So this past Thursday, I decided to shoot him a message.

I was really nervous about it and I freaked out to bunch of my friends as I waited for him to respond. Luckily I had nothing to worry about and we started talking about our lives and what we’ve been up to lately. I told him about my major and about my second family (Alpha Phi Omega); he told me about how he’d become a Marine and how he was looking forward to deploying next year.

One of the most important things I’ve learned in college is that you need to take initiative if you want things to happen. You can’t just wait around and wait for things to fall into place.

Also, as I’ve mentioned on Twitter, sometimes you’ve gotta stop waiting for someone to come back to you and go back to them.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Love you guys.

On Love

Valentine’s Day is coming up and while that day will be pretty uneventful for me, I do feel like bringing up the topic because of the mystery it holds for some people.

1)comic courtesy of Left Unattended Comics

 

I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not seeing anyone that has the potential to become my boyfriend. I’ve had flirts in the past and I have straight up told anyone that I deemed worthy of my love how I felt about them. But still, I’ve never been in a committed, long term relationship. So there are a lot of things about love that are a mystery to me.

I’m a child of divorce. My parents separated when I was 3 and made it final when I was 5 so I lived in a one parent household for most of my childhood. I never saw my mom and dad do romantic things. I never saw them go on dates or tell each other how much they meant to one another. So my early ideas of love came from whatever Disney movies I watched (which were a ton) or whatever televisions shows my little self was interested in. As a result, I got some pretty unrealistic expectations about love.

Those unrealistic expectations caused me a ton of heart break in grade school. And I’m not just exaggerating. Every single time I threw myself out there, I got hurt.  And it frustrated me because I had no idea what I was doing wrong or why no one returned the feelings.

Eventually, I kind of gave up. I resigned myself to being a crazy dog lady for the rest of life. I figured that love would find me eventually but I wasn’t going to turn myself into an emotional wreck while looking for it.

Fast forward to today. I’m working 2 jobs, taking 15 credits, and I’m involved with a co-ed fraternity a long with a couple other clubs related to my major. I don’t really have time to be involved with someone. I find myself fantasizing about it now and then because half of me is a hopeless romantic, but in a time of my life where everyone is hooking up, I really would like something that will last.

I have a few guy friends that I enjoy hanging out with. I do get somewhat annoyed when someone inquires if I’m romantically involved with them. I don’t blame their curiousness but I hate the stereotype that’s associated with seeing a girl and a guy together.

Anyway, I have a friend who came over to my place the other night and we talked for a while. We talked about life and I ranted to him about a rude group of people that I served earlier that week. But somehow our conversation turned to past relationships and we ended up expressing our views on love. We both had pessimistic views on it but I was/am more…I guess hopeful about it. I’m still hopeful that there’s someone out there with whom I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with.

The next day, while I replayed our conversation in my head, I thought back to some of the questions I had asked my dad. I asked him how he knew my mom (and then later my step-mom) was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He told he knew when he couldn’t picture his life without her. He also brought up this quote:

Love is friendship caught fire

I like to believe it. It kind of matches up with something I saw on Pinterest that said if the person is truly meant to be your sole mate, you won’t feel any agitation, anxiety, etc. The lack of those feelings match perfectly with friendship.

My point is, I guess people will believe what they will about love. I guess no theory is right or wrong but completely dependent on what a person believes in.

What are your philosophies on love? 

References   [ + ]

1. comic courtesy of Left Unattended Comics

Stopping the Madness

 

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your holiday has gone well. 🎄

 

I’m currently typing this on my new MacBook Pro and I am loving it. I’m still getting used to OS X after spending a good portion of my life working with Windows. But I’m not a complete stranger when it comes to Macs because my school has quite a few on campus for students.

 

Anyway, about a month ago, I heard about the stabbing that took place at The Ohio State University and tweeted this:

I used the phrase “stop the madness” because I had read it in many fictional books where there was discussion on real world issues and it was also a common phrase in songs that I’ve listened to.

 

Anyway, not long after tweeting, I get this reply:

 

I was surprised. I knew it was sarcasm but I wasn’t really sure how to go about that response. The rest of the conversation follows below:

 

I didn’t really get offended by this, mainly because this stranger had a point. But as a 3rd year IT student, what type of thing could I possibly do to keep the stabbings and shootings from happening in schools? 🤔

 

But then I thought about it a little more and I realized that the best I can do is be kind and friendly and accepting to everyone I come across. So that any terrorist or anyone who might do something malicious can second guess their actions. I know I can’t change people. I learned that a long time ago.  But maybe I can have some sort of impact on them.

 

It doesn’t feel like enough sometimes but then I remember that I don’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders.

 

Anyway, keep an eye out this week for some end of the year reflections. Happy Holidays!