I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not seeing anyone that has the potential to become my boyfriend. I’ve had flirts in the past and I have straight up told anyone that I deemed worthy of my love how I felt about them. But still, I’ve never been in a committed, long term relationship. So there are a lot of things about love that are a mystery to me.
I’m a child of divorce. My parents separated when I was 3 and made it final when I was 5 so I lived in a one parent household for most of my childhood. I never saw my mom and dad do romantic things. I never saw them go on dates or tell each other how much they meant to one another. So my early ideas of love came from whatever Disney movies I watched (which were a ton) or whatever televisions shows my little self was interested in. As a result, I got some pretty unrealistic expectations about love.
Those unrealistic expectations caused me a ton of heart break in grade school. And I’m not just exaggerating. Every single time I threw myself out there, I got hurt. And it frustrated me because I had no idea what I was doing wrong or why no one returned the feelings.
Eventually, I kind of gave up. I resigned myself to being a crazy dog lady for the rest of life. I figured that love would find me eventually but I wasn’t going to turn myself into an emotional wreck while looking for it.
Fast forward to today. I’m working 2 jobs, taking 15 credits, and I’m involved with a co-ed fraternity a long with a couple other clubs related to my major. I don’t really have time to be involved with someone. I find myself fantasizing about it now and then because half of me is a hopeless romantic, but in a time of my life where everyone is hooking up, I really would like something that will last.
I have a few guy friends that I enjoy hanging out with. I do get somewhat annoyed when someone inquires if I’m romantically involved with them. I don’t blame their curiousness but I hate the stereotype that’s associated with seeing a girl and a guy together.
Anyway, I have a friend who came over to my place the other night and we talked for a while. We talked about life and I ranted to him about a rude group of people that I served earlier that week. But somehow our conversation turned to past relationships and we ended up expressing our views on love. We both had pessimistic views on it but I was/am more…I guess hopeful about it. I’m still hopeful that there’s someone out there with whom I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with.
The next day, while I replayed our conversation in my head, I thought back to some of the questions I had asked my dad. I asked him how he knew my mom (and then later my step-mom) was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He told he knew when he couldn’t picture his life without her. He also brought up this quote:
Love is friendship caught fire
I like to believe it. It kind of matches up with something I saw on Pinterest that said if the person is truly meant to be your sole mate, you won’t feel any agitation, anxiety, etc. The lack of those feelings match perfectly with friendship.
My point is, I guess people will believe what they will about love. I guess no theory is right or wrong but completely dependent on what a person believes in.