Catastrophe Rising

"I'll carry your world"

Category: Poetry & Writings

There’s No Rest for the Wicked

Tomorrow will be my first day off in over two weeks and I’m super thrilled and so relieved. I think I’m going to use my day off to do a hike that I’ve always wanted to do. It’ll be a nice reprieve from my crazy life.

I could use a little break too because while I’m loving my internship and my job at the restaurant, it’s been hard to go through both without any breaks.

I recently kicked someone out of my life that I saw myself starting something with; but it the end, there was only confusion and anxiety and I kept getting the vibe that it was all one-sided. I’m not going to go into any more details because I want to protect my privacy as well the person I’m referring to.

But I did have some sort of epiphany as I read through my journal entries that I wrote in my freshman year of college. In one of them, I wrote out the following quote after another person left my life unexpectedly.

…people are flawed. They’re going to screw up more than once or twice. They’re going to make the same mistakes 10 or even 20 times before they realize what they’ve been doing wrong and make an effort to change it. And that’s why I’m so forgiving.

I’m not saying I forgive this person for what he did. At least not yet. I may forgive him eventually, just to help myself move on and to give myself peace of mind.

But as I read this quote that 18 year old me wrote, I realized that the person I’m supposed to end up with is probably out making some crazy mistakes. The thing is, whatever he’s doing right now will help him grow into someone that I’ll be happy to be with. And I’ll happily make some mistakes if it helps me become a better person in the long run.

I’m going to leave you with a snippet from a poem I wrote. It kind of reminds me that there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

 

So I drive these roads
Away from our hometown
I’ll no longer look back
There’s nothing but the past

And the things that could never be