Catastrophe Rising

"I'll carry your world"

This Month’s Poem: July 2016

So I decided to start a new segment. I figured it might be a good idea to share a poem that relates to me. It might be one that someone else wrote (all credit will be given), or one that I’ve written myself.

This is one that I wrote myself. I wrote it back in April of 2015. The person whom I’m referring to in this one has long since left my life but I still think of him often.

I wont.

Got the news that you were leaving

Got the news but not from you

 

They said you’re gone

Off to better things

 

That you’re moving on

And not word of goodbye

 

I used to sit around and wait for more

But not anymore

 

And I won’t wake up everyday

With you on my mind

I won’t fall asleep at night

With you there

And won’t pause to think

That I wish that you were there

No I won’t pretend to care

 

I thought there was something there

But I was wrong

 

I thought this path that I was going down

Was different

 

And I used to sit around and wait for more

But not anymore

 

And I won’t wake up everyday

With you on my mind

I won’t fall asleep at night

With you there

And I won’t pause to think

That I wish that you were here

No I won’t pretend to care

 

You’re not fighting to be in my life

So I won’t fight

No I won’t fight

To be in yours

 

And I won’t wake up everyday

With you on my mind

I won’t fall asleep at night

With you there

 

No I won’t wake up everyday

With you always on my mind

And I won’t fall asleep

Hoping that you care

And I won’t wish

That you were here

And I won’t pretend

No I won’t pretend

That I miss you

 

So what do you think? I enjoy constructive criticism and I know there’s always room to improve. Hope you liked it!

4 thoughts on “This Month’s Poem: July 2016

  1. That is a great segment to include on your blog.

    I really like the poem and think it connects to the raw emotion that you must have been feeling at the time. Writing can be such a great way to help release certain feelings and events that happen and can be a great thing to look back on and see how things have changed.

  2. I really enjoy reading another person’s poem(s)! I write them myself.

    I love how you free-versed the poem. I actually really like it. Keep it up!

  3. That was really good. I get impressed with people who can write poems. I have no talent for it, haha. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

  4. I love poetry, and I love writing my own. That said, I would feel like a real douche if I critiqued other people’s poetry because I can understand how personal it can be.

    It isn’t so much a criticism as people write poetry in different ways, but I always write mine to be read aloud, so commas every time there is a pause is super important. But reading yours, it is obvious that the pauses are supposed to be at the end of each line. 🙂 With my poetry, sometimes I use enjambment (run-on lines, so if there isn’t a comma, it just reads on to the next line and only pauses if there is a comma), so I use commas every time there is a pause.

    It can be either very easy or very hard to write about people who have left our lives, depending on how they left, and our feelings about them. I don’t want to over-analyse but it sounds like you were able to let your connection with that person go, and that you’ve done it for good – and you’re doing fine without him. I feel the same way about someone I used to have a connection with… it was time we broke things off. I never wrote poems following our split, but it makes me a little sad reading the poetry on my blog that had been about him and the feelings I had for him, when we still spoke. I think it’s mainly because he hurt me a lot – but ah well, we move on, just like you did. 🙂

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